Perfection!

http://www.boston.com/sports/football/patriots/reiss_pieces/


Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out why the sports gods hate me.

Boston as seen from New Zealand

Somehow, I missed this article when it first appeared two weeks ago. I have to admit, my first reaction was, 'There's a statue of Abe Lincoln in Boston?!?' Go ahead and google it ... there is.

Perhaps I'm the only one who didn't know this. If so, that's fine because the larger point is 'Why Lincoln?' Of all the statuary in Boston, why mention *that* particular one, commemorating an event significant in terms of American history, but hardly significant in terms of Boston history. Why not the more prominent Bunker Hill Monument?

My favorite line: "You can walk through downtown Boston Common without being hustled and the city has a sedate pace." I'm thinking that 'cannabis air freshener' wasn't exactly air freshener if she found anything *sedate* in Boston. I love Boston, but beyond maybe sitting in a little ristorante enjoying a bottle of Chianti, I can't imagine much about it being described as *sedate.*

I commend the author for not recommending a meal at 'Cheers' but I don't know why 'Cambridge 1' (not Cambridge 'One'). It's not exactly a Boston landmark or a must-go, like Jasper White's Summer Shack.

Either way, it's a cute little read, even if the pun in the headline is never explained.

Just something neat

For those of you who blog and don't want to put your email@xxx.net out there for spambots to harvest, here's a nifty little website to generate a professional-looking (and unharvestable) image for your blog:

E-Mail Icon Generator


That's all.

Scribe--Say It Again (featuring Tyra Hammond)

Nice little dance hall anthem, this one ...

Santa=Jesus?

This story here from the UK made me laugh:

Boy, 9, banned from school Christmas party - 'because he didn't believe in Jesus'

Teachers banned a nine-year-old boy from his class Christmas party because his parents had barred him from RE [religious education] lessons.

Douglas Stewart was forced to stay at home while his friends received presents from Santa and tucked into ice cream and jelly.

His parents were told he was not welcome at the celebration because they had pulled him out of religious eduction classes earlier in the year.

Headmaster Ian Davidson said that because the youngster had no interest in religion he could not celebrate the birth of Christ.

Furious mother Dawn Riddell, 38, said yesterday: "I've helped out at the Christmas party before and it's got absolutely nothing to do with Jesus. Douglas was heartbroken he couldn't go. It was cruel."

The boy and his brother Callum, 11, attend Cluny Primary, a council-run school in Buckie, Banffshire.

As the family have no religious beliefs, Miss Riddell had asked for them to be exempt from RE lessons.

But she was stunned when the head called with the news about the party.

She contacted Moray Council to find out its policy on school parties and was told these were non-religious.

After the council spoke to the school, the decision to exclude Douglas was put down to a "misunderstanding".

Callum was allowed to attend his party a few days later and Douglas received a present Santa had left behind.

The fun doesn't stop there, however. The comments, well ... they are priceless! I won't bother to [sic] all the typos ... I'm cutting and pasting my favorites exactly as they appear.

Christmas means Christs birthday, so parties for that are to celebrate the birth of Christ

- Helen Collins, london uk

So he doesnt believe in Jesus but he believes in Santa? Ah ha, that makes sense.

- Elizabeth Akrigg, West Yorkshire, UK.

Christmas is a religious festival and not a reason to party and get presents. It is to celebrate the birth of Jesus. If you are an atheist then why celebrate what is a christian festivity!

- Rachel, Northampton

So what has Santa and childrens Xmas parties got to do with being Christian anyway? More pc nonsense. Sack the teachers. [Again, that utterly confusing use of the term 'PC'.]

- Ian, Benfleet, UK

Please feel free to insert Easter Bunny jokes in the comment section.

John Edwards [heart]'s Teachers

Meri Kirihimete!

Stange, this hemisphere lag. It's almost 7:00 pm on Christmas Day and the sun is still high in the sky. The windows are open, and a nice cool breeze is blowing in, pushing out the heat of the day. This certainly isn't weather for a turkey (or ham), mashed potatoes, and chocolate cream pie. I'm sure today would feel just right to someone from Texas, Florida, or southern California, but to people born and bred in the Northeast, it's just not Christmas.

We had a terrific day. The kids woke us up at 6:00 am. They were up early, because they weren't up until nearly midnight wrapping presents. As usual, everything was unwrapped in a matter of seconds, and soon the fighting over each other's toys began.

We were joined by our friends, Larry and Raina and Baby Nola, for a nice dim sum. That seemed appropriate, to match a non-traditional meal with this non-traditional Christmas. After stuffing ourselves, we just hung out and talked as the kids did their thing.

Maybe we'll spend Boxing Day at the beach. Absent a 'Black Friday,' Boxing Day is NZ's biggest shopping day of the year.

By Request: Santarchy!

Yes, it's that time of year again. The weather is warm, the days are long, and the kids are out of school ... and drunk. Oh, and dressed as Santa.

As this link from MSNBC shows, New Zealand is once again on the map. No, it's not for another Peter Jackson movie (that news was last week), but for the drunken revelries of New Zealand's youth.

The mini-riot, for which New Zealand may become more famous than the University of New Hamsphire, took place about 1/2 a mile from our house. In fact, when Evan and I went out to run an errand at dinner time the other night, we saw about 20 kids in Santa suits hanging out at the skate park. They must have been mustering the troops before the raid.

Considering that both the skatepark and the cinema are on what is arguably the busiest street in Christchurch, it is absolutely amazing that no one (i.e. the police) could have seen it coming. Now, I'm not generally a law-and-order kind of guy (and I think having the skatepark for the kids to hang out in is a great idea) but considering the news here lately, it seems that the police in NZ were sent a batch of DVD's of Reno 9-11 and mistook them for training videos.

I've never been a fan of the 21+ drinking age in the US, but I never really thought that dropping it to 18 made a lot of sense either. The problem, as I see it, isn't that 18 year olds are any less responsible than 21 year olds, but that 18 year olds are more likely to be hanging around with 14, 15, 16, and 17 year olds than college-age kids are. I'm not sure how many people noticed the irony of this evening's news, which featured the Santarchy story along with another later report about an horrific accident that occurred at a teen drinking party a year ago.

You can find footage of the rampaging Santas at TVOne News, and a print story at the NZ Herald.

Massive Update

Well, I figured it was time to get off my butt and put up some pictures. You'll find a whole hodgepodge of things in this batch.

Enjoy.

Speaking of PC and the 'War on Christmas'

It just makes me shake my head

PC or not, have a Merry Christmas

In the US these days, you can get in trouble for saying "Merry Christmas". Politically correct do-gooders argue that it marginalises people of other faiths, to whom December 25 is just the day after December 24.

Complaints from these allegedly marginalised people are conspicuous by their scarcity and we rather fancy that their faith is robust enough to withstand the implied challenge. In any event, opinion polls suggest that the pendulum is swinging back: two out of three Americans prefer the old-fashioned greeting. And at least some of the rest must think that "Bah, humbug!" captures the flavour of the season.

Having taken all this into account, we have decided to wish you a "Merry Christmas" anyway, but we stress that we mean it in an inclusive, non-marginalising way. If you want to translate it into terms more meaningful to you, go ahead.

Whatever the next few days means to you, it's important to recognise that the family over the fence may read it differently. And, whether you regard it as a religious or secular festival, it's a good time of year to think about others.

Christmas means family get-togethers, which many of us regard with a mixture of delight and horror. So do your bit: smile graciously as you open relatives' tasteless gifts or do the dishes as they snore on the couch. Spare a thought, and a dollar or two, for the less fortunate and the social and voluntary agencies who are looking after their needs. And remember when you're on the road, at the beach and in the bush: you're sharing it with everyone else and there's enough to go around. Take care of each other out there.

I'm not entirely sure why an editorial that ends on such a thoughtful note has to begin with such, well, stupidity. Clearly the editors have been spending too much time watching Fox News and the second graph makes the same mistake most wingnuts make on a regular basis--'I haven't seen it (not that I bothered to actually look for it) so it must not exist.' And what is this 'pendulum is swinging back' crap? Back from what? Was there *ever* a time when people who said 'Merry Christmas' were in the minority or even noticeably less than they are today?

Of course, getting on the Christmas high horse (or is it high reindeer?) is rather ridiculous in a country where fewer than 1-in-10 people attend church weekly, one of the lowest rates in the industrialized world. Perhaps by 'Merry Christmas' they really mean 'don't get trampled at the mall.'

Political Correnctness and Housework Songs, Volumes I & II (for real this time)

As I said earlier, in some ways New Zealand is a bit behind the times, stuck in the 1970's. But in one important respect, it seems to be stuck in the early 1990's.

During afternoon television, I've seen ads for two CD's, 'Houseworks Songs, Volume I' and (now!) 'Housework Songs, Volume II.' The covers feature a woman singing into a vacuum cleaner nozzle and another playing air guitar with a broom.

Apparently, they are UK imports, and perhaps are intended more than a bit tongue-in-cheek. I have to admit, though, that I was a little taken aback by the underlying implications of the CD's.

(In all fairness, I hate the commercials on daytime TV in the US as well. They are designed to make women feel like they are horrible mothers who will kill their families with salmonella or their children will be ostracized at school unless they buy the right cleaning products.)

Kiwis will be the first to point out that NZ was a world leader in women's suffrage and NZ has a female Prime Minister. This is often used in the same way the Bush administration can point to Condi Rice as 'evidence' of its deep concern for women and African-Americans. However, looking at the statistics for economic outcomes for women in terms of both income and achievement, NZ is quite like the US. Both the gender income gap and the 'glass ceiling' exist here. In fact, some recent studies have shown that the income gap is actually widening.

It can be argued that such economic issues aren't a result of sexism or discrimination. On the other hand, it would be hard to argue that sexism and discrimination aren't part of the fabric of New Zealand society.

For instance, shortly after we arrived, I went shopping for a television. I looked at a couple of different models and had a nice chat with one of the salesmen and Noel Leeming. We talked about a lot of stuff, including the obvious fact that I wasn't from NZ and had just arrived from the US. I wasn't sure how much I wanted to spend, and definitely didn't want to buy right then anyway. So I said to the salesman, 'Well, I'm going to have to talk this over with my wife.'

'Mate, you're in New Zealand now,' he said. 'You don't have to ask your wife's permission to do anything.'

Now, I'm not so sensitive to this kind of thing to think, 'Oh my god, what a sexist jerk.' In fact, I'm not above joking with friends about having to ask our wives' permission to do things. So it's rather hard for me to say if this was a tongue-in-cheek remark, in which case it was an example of Kiwi humor (which can be quite insensitive and inappropriate) or genuine sexism and a dig at my masculinity.

But there's definitely an undercurrent here of the kind of common sexism and racism that one wouldn't expect to find in the 21st Century.

For example, we some Sundays we go the Riccarton Market, a cross between a flea market, farmers' market, and take-away foodcourt. It isn't unusual to find craft booths selling golliwogs. I've even seen them for sale in a couple of the gift shops in the tourist zone. The attitude toward them is at best 'they're just a doll' and at worst to decry as 'PC' any criticism of their use.

Sometimes being here in NZ is like living in an alternate universe where Fox News is actually a respected and trusted news source and a model for logical discourse. Honestly, I didn't think anyone but Fox News and its crybaby conservatives used the term 'PC' since about 1995, but NZ seems to be stuck on stupid, and by that I mean stuck on Fox News and calling 'PC' everything that smacks of common decency and recognizing that other human beings have feelings to.

This article here does a much better job than I could describing just how ridiculous the whole call-everything-PC thing is here.

Oh, NZ has even had its own version of the 'War on Christmas.' Perhaps some sort of exchange program would be worked out, whereby the US sends Bill O'Reilly to NZ and NZ sends the US ... well, I think sending Bill-O to NZ would be more than fair.

With Labour trailing National in the polls by some 15 points, and the Greens probably out of the government altogether, chance are things are gonna get a lot worse before they get better.

I've decided I'm not really a fan of earthquakes

We could feel it all the way down here in Chch. It wasn't very strong. Just like the last time, it felt like an unbalanced washing machine. But this one was long ... 10 or 15 seconds, which is an eternity, believe me.

Major damage reports after quake rocks NZ.

The earthquake, which was more powerful than the 1987 Edgecumbe earthquake, was centred 50 kilometres south of Gisborne at a depth of 40 kilometres. But the Edgecumbe quake was much shallower than tonight's quake.

Inspector James Taare said police have received reports of major damage after the earthquake but do not know if anyone was injured.

He said no tsunami warnings had been issued.

Stuff.co.nz readers report the earthquake was felt strongly in in Wellington, Bleheim and Nelson and tremors were reported further down the South Island including Christchurch, Dunedin and Hokitika on the west coast.

Dennis Munro of Kohitane Farm near Wairoa reported extensive damage to his farmhouse, including a toppled chimney, cracks in the walls and a collapsed kitchen ceiling.

No one in the house was injured, but all were shocked, Mr Munro said. His family were not staying at the house tonight because of the extent of the damage.

The house was a "real mess" and even christmas gifts were destroyed, he said.

Gisborne resident Jennifer Caughy said the earthquake had caused a gas leak in Gladstone Road and a strong smell of gas.

She said worried residents were leaving their homes and heading for higher ground in case of a tsunami.

National MP Craig Foss, who lives at Waimarama on the Hawke's Bay coast said his "whole house seemed to rock for ages.

"Our youngest, five years old, was woken by the quake and noise and we all stood under an internal door frame. I am sure the lights dimmed just before the quake hit. It seemed to go on for a long time.

"There was a lot of creaking and groaning. Our home seemed to take a long time to settle down and stop moving."

A Napier reader reported their phones went down temporarily and glasses fell out of their cabinets.

Callan Attwell of the Capital and Coast District Health Board said in an email: "Everyone in theatre in the Wellington hospital felt it."

Telephones in the Gisborne area are currently down.

Alarms were set off in Lower Hutt by the quake, Hutt resident Amanda Botha said.

The earthquake was also strongly felt in the Eastern Bay of Plenty.

A plug for another blog

Those of you who know me know why it's strange for me to recommend this blog, but I'm going to anyway:

Young Anabaptist Radicals.

Have a look around. I think you'll like what you see.

You should check this out, too.

The New Zealand Hissy Fit

When I blogged about the lack of professionalism hidden by the 'laid back lifestyle' this is exactly what I was referring to. Note the lack of any kind of care in the presentation of herself this 'professional' woman displays in her appalling (mis-)use of the English language. Also note how quickly she resorts to name-calling, threats, and otherwise childish behavior. And let me point out--she was once Deputy Mayor of Queenstown!

From The Spare Room (a NZ blog):

Trying to organise a function, Hayley from Ray White Real Estate in Auckland was politely querying the quote, and other details of her order, when she got this terse reply from Margaret:

“You placed an order last Thursday and have NEVER confirmed your order for Monday AFTER 3 emails. You asked for a quote which you were given then queried the prices against the website. Why ask in the first place. May I suggest you read the Home page of our site regarding pricing.

“I personally don’t have the time or inclination to sit on the computer all day playing email ping pong. Please confirm your order by 9am this morning some 7 hrs before the function begins TELEPHONE XXXXXXX otherwise I will take it that the order is no longer required the QUOTE IS $9.00 PER PERSON. (at this late stage chicken drumsticks will not be an option Thai chicken cakes or mini chicken satays will be) AND MAY I SUGGEST YOU COLLECT YOUR OWN STRAWBERRIES. We are a very busy catering company who has given you very good service in the past and will not be treated in this off hand manner business is business. This job if goes a head will be cash on delivery or payed by credit card. Incidentally we are going to be selling our house very soon and question your companies professional practises if this incident is anything to go by. Regards Margaret.”

Hayley replied:

“That is the rudest email I have received in a long time.
We will not be requiring your services again.”

To which Margaret responded:

“Get into the real world young lady if you ever attain the position to be self employed you may understand hard working successful business people don’t make it hiding behind late floods of emails. Not having the fortitude to call by telephone tells me your incrusted in your sit down loads of spare time job.

“Re rudest email tells me you once again you are not in the real world and haven’t fully matured but it will happen. You were probably bottle feed till late teens.

“I just have so much fun with time wasters. Have a great party shame you will have to pay so much more for it. I will hopefully be calling your boss before Christmas re our not listing our property with Ray Whites I am sure they will be interested and could give you more to do. And you thought my first email was rude. I expect you still believe in Santa Clause.”

If the strawberries are over-priced, I can guarantee it isn't because Gourmet Food Store is spending its money on web design.

One NZ View of the NZ Housing Crisis

New Zealand Toilets

In New Zealand, you're more likely to see and hear the word 'toilet' than any euphemism. Even in public places, such as restaurants and the mall, the word 'Toilet' is proudly displayed.

I was prepared for that. In fact, I think nearly every guidebook or travelogue mentions this. What I wasn't prepared for was how often I'd find myself pissing in a trough.

Yes, pissing in a trough.

Now, to be fair, I'm not talking about the kind of thing you're likely to find in a football stadium. It's not the kind of trough that actually looks like a small river has been diverted from the countryside to run through the bathroom on its way to power the waterwheel at a grist mill.

These are usually about four foot tall, aluminum affairs, reminiscent of the splashguard usually found on the wall behind the stove or a bit of modern sculpture from the lobby of an office building. I've seen them range from about four feet wide to eight feet or more, these large metal L-shaped urine channels. Typically there's a raised step, about four inches high and 10 inches wide that separates the trough from the rest of the floor.

And that's where it gets tricky. You see, I never know where to stand. Is one meant to stand on the little perch, or behind it? By the looks of the perch and surrounding floors I've encountered, I'm not the only one who lacks this essential bit of trough-pissing etiquette. To make matters worse (as if that was possible) I've encountered some troughs that have a foot-wide metal grate across them, followed by a similarly wide open area. So you have floor, perch, grate, opening ... all conspiring to make the distance between where one can stand hygienically and the presumed target, well, a challenge. I think NZ should give up its hopes of winning the Rugby World Cup and instead create a new sport which features pissing for distance.

Or maybe not. Maybe you're actually meant to stand on the perch and grate, in which case I'm left to wonder about the Kiwi male's ability to aim with proficiency beyond that of a 5 year old. And I definitely wouldn't touch their shoes.

Another charming feature of these troughs is that they don't flush. There's no water flowing through them and being water-use conscious, they are set to flush far too infrequently. (Even standard urinals typically lack a button to clear them.) I'll leave the effect of this to the imagination. (One hint: think horse barn.)

Restrooms in public places are almost certain to have troughs rather than urinals. I can accept that if I go to a park or the beach, I'll encounter one because they're less likely to be broken by vandals than porcelain urinals. However, I am amazed each time I encounter one in a mall, store, or restaurant.

What an odd commentary on life in the USA

Surfin' the 'net I saw this ad:

I clicked away from the page it was on then did the on-line version of a double-take.  I ended up having to refresh the page several times to get it to appear again as the ads cycled through.  The whole time I was thinking, "Did it really say 'Shop Victoriously'?"

Why not just have a picture of Russell Crowe, sword aloft and shouting "It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail."

Ruminate on that while you enjoy your Christmas turkey.

Housing affordability: US vs. NZ

I came across an interesting opinion item from a US newspaper. "How low must housing prices go?" to make them affordable it asks. The answer:

Today, median home prices [in the US] are 3.5 times the size of median annual family incomes. This may be down from the recent peak of 4.2 times incomes reached last year, but it's way above the 2.8 times that home prices averaged during 1984-2000, when lots of homes were bought, sold and built.

And if you think 2.8 is low, check out the early 1970s. That was when home prices were only 2.3 times median family incomes, and housing was selling like gangbusters.
One major homebuilder recently proved that people will buy if the price is right. The firm slashed prices by 20-30% one recent weekend - and wound up selling more than nine times as many homes as it did on previous weekends.

To get prices back to 2.8 times family incomes would require a drop of 20% from today's levels - and this does not take into account interest rates and lending standards.

To equal the affordability of the early 1970s, prices would have to fall a whopping 38%.

According to the NZ Quality of Life Report, here in NZ the median home costs about 9.5 times the median household income.

UPDATE:

I made a couple of changes to the above post for clarity's sake.

Shifting house means new school & new daycare

Since we'll be moving to the other side of town, we have to find a new daycare for Connor. Getting him into the one he's in was difficult enough, finding a new one may prove impossible. This is the response we got from one of the ones in our new neighborhood:

Hi there,

Im really sorry but we have closed our waiting list for the preschool as we have absolutely no room until at least mid 2009.

Good luck.

Not looking good ...

More on the 'laid back' lifestyle

We found out a couple of weeks ago that we have to move out of our rental at the end of January. This is a huge hassle, as it seems like we've just gotten settled in.

The tale of how this has come about reveals something about the 'laid back' Kiwi lifestyle.

When we first moved into this house, we were told that the owner, who had bought the property and completed the renovations on it himself, would be installing a heatpump and would have an electrician come around to finish installing the electronic controls for the front gate and the security camera system.

The electrician did come by a couple of times, but I'm not entirely certain what exactly he did, because neither system was finished. I finally broke down and went to the hardware store myself to buy a hasp for the front gate because it was secured with nothing more than a screw and a piece of scrap wood.

The heatpump ... well, *nothing* has been done on that front.

We should have realized something was amiss. When we moved in, we were given keys for the front door, but no key for the back French doors. For the first month we lived in this house, the back door remained unlocked. After several phone calls to the property manager, we were told 'the owner will be by today with the key.' About a week later, and several more phone calls and assurances later, we finally got the key. I myself spoke to the owner, who seems a nice enough fellow, about the heatpump and security system. I got some 'yeah, I'll give the contractor and electrician a call.' That was back in September.

So a couple of weeks ago we received a call from the rental agency. We were being assigned a new property manager, who happened to be the young woman who showed us the house in the first place, and she would be coming to do an inspection of the property to see if there were any unaddressed maintenance needs. When she came we told her about the promised security system and heatpump and the owner's inaction. She said she was aware of the owner's promises and recalls telling us about them when she showed us the house.

So, two days later we receive another phone call. This time, it was a real estate agent who wanted to come look at the house. We called our property manager, who called the owner.

The long and short of it (which involves a lot of he-said/she-said and outright lies) is that rather than fix the problems, he's selling the property.

Now, this isn't so much about boo-hoo for us as it is the attitude it displays. According to the property manager, the owner actually said to her 'Why can't you be more laid back like' the woman who was her predecessor.

If there were an isolated incident, I could dismiss it as just a story about a guy who bought a rental property and got in over his head. Or I could dismiss it as a story about ... well, someone who's just a jerk. There are jerks everywhere, right?

But unfortunately this isn't an isolated incident. I've heard similar horror stories about housing and landlord's promises from a lot of people.

And it goes beyond houses and landlords.

I've been directly involved in two incidents in which 'professionals' have acted like spoiled children when they didn't get their way. I can't go into too many details because I have to respect the privacy of the other innocent individuals involved. I can say that in one incident a question was asked about being paid in a timely fashion for work performed and the question was met with a threat of violence and has now turned into a lawsuit. The other involved an opportunity to bid for a contract we couldn't fulfill because the potential client had unreasonable expectations; when this was pointed out, the response from the Kiwi partner was akin to pouting and saying 'I'll take my ball and go home then.'

In my book, once is an accident, twice is a coincidence, and three times is a conspiracy. Of course, conspiracy isn't the right word in this context, but three data points allow you to triangulate and begin to form some hypotheses about the way things really are.

I'm beginning to question whether 'laid back' isn't just spin for a culture that really says 'don't rock the boat, don't pull back the curtain, don't ask questions.' Anyone who knows me knows *that* is not me.

In the category of 'outrageously expensive"

1 bottle children's cough medicine + 1 30 pack allergy pills = $58.00

The good news is that you can get Fexofenadine (aka generic Allegra) for about $1.50 per pill, rather than the $2.00 per pill you'd pay if you had to pay for your own prescriptions. The bad news, of course, is that I never had to pay for my own prescriptions.

All the OTC allergy meds are equally expensive. A months's worth of Claritin will set me back more than I would pay for a year's worth at Costco.

When Kafka Met Huxley

Kafka designed the bureaucracy and Huxley wrote the standards ... and New Zealand took them seriously.

Modern Convenience

"Connor, why are you wearing a dirty shirt?"
"It not dirty. It clean."

Clothes here go into the washing machine and come out nominally cleaner. The dryer can handle 2 pairs of jeans at a time, no more. The oven barely holds my pizza stone and won't hold the pan I use for roasting chicken. I haven't had an ice cube at home in months because the freezer isn't large enough to hold the necessities, never mind a luxury like an ice cube tray.

It's easy to be dismissive of modern conveniences in the United States, probably because we've taken convenience and, like we do with most things, turned it to excess and used it to feed our hyper-speed lifestyles. No one really needs their dryer to come in the choice of white, black, candy apple red, glacier blue, hunter green, etc. etc. The 'gourmet kitchen' is laughable in a country (and among a class) where people dine out more than they eat in. (And besides, how did a kitchen with appliances more suited to a barracks, hospital, or fraternity house become 'gourmet'?)

Among middle class Americans, the industrial size washer and dryer are a necessity because who has time to do laundry? We eat out because we don't have time to cook. Convenience isn't about making things easier, it's about survival. When you're working 50 hours per week, shuttling the kids back and forth to school (and god knows what else), commuting hours on end each week, you don't have the luxury of time to hang your laundry out on the line--and god forbid it rains, because you certainly don't have time to watch your laundry dry.

Again and again during my time here, which was in part about seeing how people someplace else live, I've thought 'There has got to be something between X (the way Kiwis seem to do it) and Y (the way Americans do it).' For instance, there has to be a middle path between a culture that seems to find it acceptable to not return phone calls or follow up on commitments and one that demands everything "now".

The American lifestyle is a choice, albeit one that is easy to get sucked into and hard to get out of. But I can't help thinking that there's got to be something between the American way of using technology to enable an unhealthy lifestyle and the NZ way of simply making do.

What's especially troubling (I know--I'm using words like 'troubling' and 'disturbing' quite a lot lately) is that there's been a lot of talk here lately about work/life balance, as recent studies have shown longer and longer working hours (but productivity that is remaining stagnant). Kiwis want to be able to maintain the 'laid back lifestyle' they are famous for, but at the same time what good is all the leisure time if you have to wear a dirty shirt?

More housing information

Sorry, but my inner Krugman has been running wild and I've been spending some time over at Expat Exposed, where quite a debate is raging over whether or not New Zealand Immigration is misleading potential migrants.

One of the users pointed to this section of the NZIS website, on housing in NZ:

Compared with what you probably paid for your current home, you’ll find your currency converted to New Zealand dollars will go a very long way in our real estate market. Owning our own home is something that two-thirds of us have chosen to do and is still affordable for most. While suburban houses still account for 85 percent of house sales, inner-city and semi-rural living are becoming increasingly popular options.

When one compares this to the Quality of Life Report, there are some misleading assertions made there and at least one outright lie. First, the lie: The ethnic group with the highest rate of home ownership are NZ Europeans, and they currently stand at a 59% home ownership rate. Not far short of 2/3, but far enough. However, rates of home ownership among Maori, Pacific Islanders, and Asians are 30%, 22%, and 37%. Home ownership rates for all groups have fallen since 2001.

Another disturbing trend is that between 1996 and 2006, housing ownership has fallen across New Zealand. In 1996, 73% of private dwellings were owned and by 2006 that rate had fallen to a 52%. Accordingly, the number of renters has increased.

I've addressed the exchange rate in previous posts. I won't get into affordability in great detail, but here's some more interesting data from the Quality of Life report: Between 2001 and 2006, median incomes in the 12 big cities increased about 32% and rose 34% for NZ as a whole. During the same period, median housing prices rose 67% and 89% respectively. So housing prices are rising at a rate twice that of income.

Some New Zealand Music

Despite the fact that the big NZ radio stations play way, way, way too much 50 Cent, Justin Timberlake, Fergie, and other crap from the US, there are some really awesome Kiwi bands. For some reason, though, I think only Hailey Westenra and (soon) Will Martin are known outside of NZ. Hopefully that will change, because the rest of the world (beyond Australia, that is) is missing out on some really good bands.

Here are a couple of selections from my favorite NZ bands from our time here:

Atlas--Crawl (Their guitarist is from LA, and word is that they are headed there to try to break in the US)



Op Shop--Maybe (They have another song, 'One Day', that is featured in NZ Post ads, which you can also find on YouTube.)



The Mint Chicks--CRAZY? YES! DUMB? NO! (Check out their other songs on YouTube and you'll find a band that may be NZ's answer to the Talking Heads.)



Anika Moa--Dreams in my head



Evermore--Running (Evermore are NZ's biggest band since the Split Enz/Crowded House)



Scribe--F.R.E.S.H. (I'm not really much of a rap man beyond the Beastie Boys and House of Pain--which I guess really means I'm not a rap man at all--but Scribe is one of the best rappers I've heard. I guess I'll leave it to you to judge for yourself.)



Scribe--My Shit



What is really interesting is that all of these artists--with the exception of Evermore--come from Christchurch. I didn't select them on that basis, but because they are the most popular NZ artists at the moment.

If you poke around YouTube you can also find videos by other NZ bands:

Pluto--French Grave
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKYnTtmBHsA

Katchafire
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=katchafire&search=Search

The Blackseeds--So True
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDyUcmoIkl0

I'm working on another long piece about immigrant outcomes

But in the meantime, this has hit the newspapers here:

Time to tighten belts - 09 Dec 2007 - NZ Herald: New Zealand Business and Personal Finance News

Borrowers will be in for some more belt-tightening next year following the Reserve Bank's move last week to stay the course with its high interest rate policy.

Economists say an official rate cut is still some way off - the consensus being sometime late next year - but that could quickly change if the US economy starts to tank.

As it stands, borrowers could be in for increases of 0.7 to 1.5 percentage points next year.

The Reserve Bank's decision to keep its official cash rate at 8.25 per cent is in contrast with recent decisions made by many of its northern hemisphere counterparts.


BS New Zealand economist Robin Clements says other central banks are clearly becoming more concerned about higher financial costs, financial instability and risk aversion from the credit market turmoil spilling over into pessimism, lower growth and lower lending.

Clements says the Reserve Bank feels it needs to batten down the hatches, not only because of the higher food and fuel prices, but also because of the expected stimulatory effects of higher dairy returns and the prospect of tax cuts arising from next year's election.

"It does seem to be an interesting contrast, especially because these other central banks have been making their decisions in recent weeks, so they are facing the same information set, and yet the Reserve Bank seems to be that much more circumspect about it all," he says.

ASB bank chief economist Nick Tuffley says the differing positions of central banks is a reflection of their economies being at different stages. "Also the crisis is affecting countries in different ways so, arguably, out of all of those, we would be the least affected so far."

So the official rate could jump to between 9% and 10.5%.

Wow, wow, wow.

I guess the silver lining is that such a change would cool the upward pressure on housing prices, but if you're a migrant who doesn't have the cash on hand to purchase your house outright, it's going to make buying a home here much less appealing (and, frankly, much less likely).

It's funny because they are citing as a key factor for ramping up interest rates the likelihood of a tax cut. So money goes in one pocket and comes right out the other ... I understand how inflationary pressures work, but this is making the Labour Government sound more like a Republican administration back in the US. 'Can't give poor and middle class people more money in their pockets--they'll only spend it!"

I wonder what affect this is going to have long-term on the already poor (and declining) rates of home ownership here?

:sigh:

Two additional notes: Visiting the banks here, ARMS are the norm, rather than the exception. We see how that's working out in the US, aren't we?

Take a look over at ANZ's loan info page for first-time buyers and you'll see many examples of the exotic loans that helped create the Big Shitpile.

Friday Kid Blogging

This morning I was walking Evan to school.

'Daddy, do you know what I want to be when I grow up?" he asked.

'A doctor?'

'No. You have to guess. It picks up trash.'

'A garbage man. You want to be a garbage man?'

'No, it has a stick with a tack on the end of it and puts the trash in a bag.'

'Isn't that a garbage man?'

'No, a trash picker upper!'

'Wouldn't you really rather be a doctor instead?'

Time Machines

It is common to joke that NZ is 20 years behind the rest of the world. When a friend of ours arrived here, the pilot said 'We've just arrived in New Zealand. Please set your watches to 1974.' Aussies like to say that to get to New Zealand you don't need a plane but a time machine.

As with most jokes, there's truth there. Walking around Chch any evening or Sunday, you'll find that nearly everything is closed. They do roll up the sidewalks at 5:30 here. In fact, until the 1970's, shops were required by law to close on Saturdays and Sundays. Going back even further, in the 1950's and '60's nothing was opened on Sundays and some towns even locked up the playgrounds. A favorite pastime in Chch during that period was going to the airport to watch planes take off and land, or simply walking up and down the beach, regardless of weather.

In the early 1980's the laws were liberalized, allowing shops to open on Saturdays, first in the 'tourist' sections of Chch and Auckland, then in the rest of the country. Today, there are four holidays--Good Friday, Easter Sunday, Anzac Day, and Christmas--on which trade is prohibited.

A local mall advertises that it is 'open late'. Three days a week, it doesn't close at 6:30, but 8:00 instead. Another is open on Friday and Saturday until 9:00, but that's largely because it has a movie theatre and a couple of restaurants. Beside the grocery stores, which have extended hours, and dairies, which are generally open 24 hours, there's only one store in Chch that's open until 9:00 pm. So, should your heater break at 8:00 on a Sunday night, you either have to get out an extra blanket or drive out to the edge of town to the one Warehouse that's open.

Living in smaller cities like Willimantic and Danielson/Brooklyn as a kid, being here reminds me of those times. (I'm not going to say, 'When life was simpler and better.') You could go shopping downtown and find clothing stores, shoe stores, book stores, etc. Malls were a novelty. Stores were closed on Sunday, and those that were open probably opened late, closed early, or both.

New Zealand, or Chch at least, is in that transition right now, from Downtown Culture to Mall Culture. Chch has eight malls, and I'd guess that all of them were constructed in the last 10 years or so. They are small--smaller than the Fox Run Mall--and homogeneous. And, unlike in the US, they have grocery stores in them! Most are anchored by one grocery store and either a Warehouse or Farmers. (The Warehouse is like Wal-Mart, but really more like K-Mart or Caldor's or Bradley's or Zayer's ... yes, *that* bad. Farmers is like JC Penney from 20 years ago, when it sold furniture and toys and cookware and all the stuff it doesn't sell any more. I'd compare it to Macy's, which still does sell that stuff, but it would be an insult to Macy's.)

Just like the US, the mall here is where you want to go when you want to buy over-priced mass-produced poor-quality clothes and shoes, or want to spend $5 more for a CD or DVD than you could get it elsewhere.

Shopping elsewhere in the city is just as you would find in any other large American city, but on a smaller scale. Chch has it's own Newbury Street, it's own fancy department store (Ballantynes), and it's share of upscale eateries (though only one of them is regarded as among the best in the country). Outside of the central business district, away from the heart of town, you will find places like Columbo Street in Sydenham, where you can find family shoe stores, clothing stores, cafes, and butcher shops. It's there that the Main Street-style downtown of 20 or 30 years ago still exists.

But, I wonder how long this will last. I don't think the malls will kill these places. What will do them in instead is what is killing cities and towns all across the US--suburban sprawl and the big box retailers.

In Chch, the term 'suburb' is what we might refer to as a borough; it's the part of the city in which you live, rather than its outskirts. They are sub-urban in that they are outside of the CBD. I live in the suburb of Waltham, but I'm about as far away from the CBD as Epping High School is from Wal-Mart, and no one from the US dropped on my street would think that they were anywhere other than in the city.

But Hallswell, which is truly on the outskirts of Chch, is the fastest growing suburb. It is made up of 'old Halswell,' the part closer to the city, and 'new Hallswell,' which is where the farms are raising houses rather than sheep. In fact, American-style suburbs are springing up all around the city, with cookie-cutter houses (tan brick with black roofs, two car attached garage and living room on the front) on postage stamp size lots.

(Another side note: here in NZ, houses are packed in very, very tightly. There's a lot of construction around us, because anyone with a lot big enough to fit two houses on it has subdivided the lot and is building a second house in the back. Our lot is probably the standard here, measuring about 60'x60'. The reason for this, I am told, is because it is too expensive to build upward because of the earthquake precautions that must be taken. Two story single family homes are rare, as are residential buildings taller than 3 stories.)

Big box retailers and springing up hand-in-hand with the new residential developments. Mega Mitre 10 and Bunnings are large home improvement stores. Tower Junction is a local shopping center that combines several retailers--think 'The Crossing at Fox Run'. There's even an outlet mall, too. These are all much newer than the mall, most opening in the past year or two or currently under construction.

Watching the new development here in Chch is like watching a replay of recent American socio-economic history. I was going to compare it with what I saw driving the highways between New England and St. Louis over the last 15 years, but I don't need to make that comparison because it's the history of Epping over the past 5 years. It's what those of you who are there are seeing right before your very eyes. (BTW, how's that new Starbucks? Just like every other one, I bet.)

I came here hoping to see something different from what I was seeing in the US. Not to recapture some golden age of innocence, but just to see an alternative. To see what it would be like to live someplace *different*. Driving around, I can't help but think that I'm 10 years too late.

Well, I've done it again ... okay, maybe not *next* time, but soon, I'll tell you about Political Correctness and Housework Songs, Volumes I & II.

One for the Master

Note: This is an older post I was working on and just finished a little more, uh, research for. Enjoy!

My father-in-law said that I haven't been blogging enough about the differences in life between NZ and the States. This one is dedicated to him, and it's about beer, a subject near and dear to his heart. I'll include other alcohol, too, since there's a lot of misinformation out there about the sale of liquor in New Zealand.

Contrary to what most guide books say, one does not need to visit a 'bottle store' to purchase alcohol here. Beer and wine--as well as an assortment of malt liquor disguised as cocktails--are sold in grocery stores. Bottle stores, which are small package stores attached to pubs, do exist and perhaps may be the only places to buy liquor in smaller places. Here in Chch, though, we have several liquor stores that carry liquor, beer, and wine. There are also a handful of wine specialty shops, as well as at least one store that I've yet to visit that specializes in Russian vodka. If my freezer could accommodate a bottle, I'd have been there at least once already.

Liquor is very expensive here. It's pretty much all imported, so a bottle of anything decent will set you back at least 2-3 times as much here as in the US. As with other consumer items, there's no rhyme or reason to the prices. A bottle of Smirnoff vodka costs just as much as a bottle of Absolute. A bottle of the local craft vodka, 42 Below, is even more expensive.

On the other hand, absinthe, Pernod, Pimms, and Cuban rum are commonly available. I've yet to spring for any of them--or any liquor at all here--but someday ...

I could probably be killed for writing this, but the beer here is just okay. It's good, not great. To be fair, the mass produced stuff here, like Steinlager, is much better than Bud, Miller, etc. What's disappointing is that the few microbrews I've had aren't really all that great.

Of the beers I've had, I'd give the Monteith's, Mac's, Harrington's, and Speights (the NZ equivalent of Sam Adams so not a micro) grades in the 'B' range. I've yet to find anything as good as my favorites from the States. But, don't fear dear reader, I plan to keep trying.

As for imports, most of the common international brands are available. Heineken, Stella Artois, Labatts Blue, Tuborg ... even Corona! As for American beer, well ... All I've seen so far is Miller and Miller Chill. I'm sure Bud must be available somewhere, but I haven't seen it yet. (Please don't be confused ... I don't know when I last drank a Miller or Bud.)

Beer here generally comes in two size bottles: stubbies and swappas. The name 'stubbie' pretty much says all you need to know about the Kiwi attitude toward drinking. The little bottle is 330 ml or just short of 12 ounces. However, if you are a real Kiwi, you get yourself a swappa crate--a wooden box of 12 745ml bottles. I guess the 25 ounce size is better if you like your beer warm by the time you finish it. When I happened to be in the liquor store on a Friday afternoon I didn't see any blokes leaving with just one. I guess they couldn't pass up the bargain--one swappa crate will set you back about $30, which is less than a 24 back of comparable stubbies.

The better brands are available only in stubbies, and most of those only in six packs. A six pack of the better brands costs about $12-$14, though most stores have one on sale each week for $10.

The wines deserve a post all to themselves, so I'll save that for later.

New Zealand: The Arkansas of the South Pacific?

Mike Barnicle, former Boston Globe columnist, once called New Hampshire the Arkansas of New England. Living in New Hampshire, his words finally made it all make sense.

I've been thinking about what I've seen here so far and have to wonder of New Zealand isn't the Arkansas of the South Pacific.

Now, don't get me wrong. When Mike said it, he was taking a shot at New Hampshire and Arkansas at the same time by appealing to the idea that Arkansas was Dogpatch and everyone there Lil' Abner. Of course, if you're reading this, you probably already know that it was Seabrook, New Hampshire that inspired Al Capp ... though you may not know that there was a Dogpatch USA theme park in Arkansas. See for yourself. (How's that for meta?)

I think the comparison goes a bit deeper than the simple 'Heh heh ... what a bunch of hicks' Mike was trying for. I think there are some very real ways in which New Zealand resembles Arkansas.

First, I will readily admit that I have never been to Arkansas. If I was being honest, I could call this post 'New Zealand: The Beautiful, Laid Back, Redneck, Unsophisticated, Backward Place Where Everyone Is Either From Right Here and Always Will Be Or From Somplace Else And Some People Are Really, Really Nice and Cool But Others Are Unsophisticated Backward Rednecks On the Edge of Civilization But Then Again Maybe It's Just Christchurch' but that wouldn't fit in the little box Blogger gives you for the title.

So I'm going to use a little poetic license and compare a place where I've lived for six months with a place I've never been. And what you're going to do is not get all smart-assy and tell me how wrong I am about Arkansas and New Zealand. I know all that, so just go with it, okay? Good.

Arkansas, lovely land of Tablerock Lake, the Ozarks, and the Ouachita Mountains. Birthplace of President Bill Clinton (and not the birthplace of Hillary, which is also a check in the 'assets' column). Represented by 2 Democratic Senators and 3 Democratic Members of the House of Representatives, and led by a Democratic Governor. A multicultural state that has worked hard to put its racist history behind it.

Okay, you get the idea. I'll stop with the tourist brochure bit now. Arkansas really isn't all that bad, is it? But, it isn't exactly Cambridge on the Mississippi either.

New Zealand, as I and others have experienced it, is the same. There's lots and lots and lots here that is wonderful--I've already written about some of it. But, there's also much here to find fault with.

I've been thinking about this because there's been quite a dust up here about a website devoted to disgruntled immigrants. Expat Exposed and its creator have been featured on TV One News three times in the past two days. (I have some theories about why, but if you dig deeply enough, you can probably figure out why a website with only a few users made national news.) I don't agree with everything I've seen posted there, but behind all the bitterness are some interesting points about life here.

Obviously, most immigrants do fine in New Zealand. In fact, several statistics point to the fact that the average immigrant is better off than the average Kiwi ... and that may be a little bit of the problem.

Immigrants make up about 1/4 of New Zealand's population. However, in 2005-2006, they contributed more than half of all net tax revenues. Immigrants contribute $3.3 billion net taxes versus $2.8 billion for native Kiwis and pay more than 1/3 of total GST receipts. Accordingly, across most ethnic groups and countries of origin, immigrants have higher total incomes than the average Kiwi.

This of course makes sense because the government can choose the cream of the crop to immigrate here but has no control over who is born here!

But behind the numbers are a couple of less obvious facts. First, average incomes are low in New Zealand when compared to other OECD nations. Second, New Zealand is losing native Kiwis at a rate of more than 4,000 per month. As of October, more than 40,000 Kiwis have left for Australia alone this year. That figure doesn't include the large number of Kiwis who leave for other countries, including the US and UK. It's hard to get an exact count, but most estimates put the number of Kiwis who are permanent residents in other countries as between 1/5 and 1/4 of all native New Zealanders.

Those two data points are related. A large portion of the Kiwis who leave are either highly skilled or highly educated. The emigration of highly skilled natives and the immigration of highly skilled immigrant accounts for the income and tax contribution disparity between immigrant and native residents. (Wow, I'm starting to feel like Paul Krugman here.)

Immigration also exerts fairly strong upward pressure on housing prices. Again, 1/4 of all New Zealand residents are immigrants. They have higher incomes and many bring with them substantial savings to use for down payments. Obviously, this is good news for Kiwis who have homes to sell--here in Christchurch it's probably paid for a lot of those houses up in the Port Hills--but for those who want to buy for the first time or who can't afford to move up the property ladder the news isn't good.

(Most of you are familiar with this, because it's the same thing that's happening in southern and seacoast New Hampshire. As more and more professionals from Massachusetts have moved into the state, housing prices have climbed to the point that first-time home buyers have to take huge mortgages or start in condos. It's that appreciation that gave us the money for this adventure.)

In some places in the US, such a situation would be referred to as 'carpetbagging.' As history has shown, that doesn't make for good social relationships.

So that brings us back to Arkansas. It's easy to say, 'People in the South are ...' and fill in the blank. But we know that's not true. It's not even true to say, 'Most people in the South are ...' But you can say, 'Some people in the South are racists/bigots/still fighting the Civil War.' Instead, you find the whole range of human (and not so human) experience. You have Lil' Abner and Bill Clinton, El Camino-driving Rhodes Scholar. I know that's hardly a revelation, but sometimes the obvious truths are the ones that need repeating.

But, if you took all those stereotypes about the Southern Redneck and all the truths about the South as it is today, they'd apply here. Christchurch is a sophisticated modern city, with a sophisticated population. But there's also racism and prejudice here--some say as bad or worse than they've experienced in the US. It has one of New Zealand's top universities, and parochial rubes who think 'immigrant' means 'stupid' (or, even worse 'rich'). While there aren't 'bad parts of town' like you'd find in the US, there are definitely exclusive enclaves. There's a large Asian population in Avonhead, and some people casually refer to it as 'Asianhead.' (Not in the same way we'd call Chinatown, uh, 'Chinatown.')

I don't know that I would go so far as to say there's definitely tension, but after what I've seen about the feeling some people have about immigrants there may be. I was surprised to see here the 'my country love it or leave it' attitude, which I thought was unique to the United States.

Some have suggested that the problem is a 'Christchurch thing.' It's true that Christchurch does have an elitist streak, as we saw upon our arrival; nearly everyone we encountered told us which schools we should (and shouldn't) send the boys to.

In a way, it would make sense that racism and xenophobia wouldn't be found to as great a degree in Auckland. Most migrants end up there, including an overwhelming majority of migrants from Asia and about 40% of migrants from Europe and South Africa. More than 1 out of 3 people in Auckland was born overseas, whereas only 1 in 5 people in Chch were born overseas.

So, here's a little speculation on my part: a large portion of the more urbane and educated Kiwis are either headed abroad or to Auckland and abandoning the more rural areas and smaller cities. Cities in the north, like Manakau and Tauranga, are the fastest growing in the in the country, while cities in the south, Christchurch included, are growing much more slowly. That's leaving behind a higher percentage of Kiwis who are less educated, less economically successful, and more likely to be resentful of immigrants--especially immigrants who are more successful than they are. Looking at personal incomes, Christchurch lags behind Auckland by about 10% and Wellington by about 15%, so the the statistics point toward a 'brain migration' to the larger cities.

As populations in the cities grow, housing prices increase. Median housing prices in Auckland and Wellington are 30% higher than they are in Christchurch. Looking at the internal migration numbers, Christchurch is one of the lowest growth cities and it has one of the oldest populations.

Wow ... I've really ended up someplace quite afield of where I originally intended to go. I'm really trying hard to make sense of what, exactly, is going on here and what it means for us.

I'm giving up on this for now. There's lots more to dig into, but for now I'll leave you with a little teaser of something else I'm going to write about:

Political Correctness & "Housework Songs, Volumes I & II".

Kiwi to American Dictionary

House--shack

Car park--a kind of slow-motion demolition derby

'She'll be alright'--No, she won't

'I'll get back to you'--No, you won't

'I'll take care of it'--See 'I'll get back to you'

Bin--trash can

Voice mail--see 'bin'

Work--a type of social club featuring free coffee

Drink driving--similar to American baseball, as it's the national pastime

Whacking--see 'drink driving'

Library--a place to rent movies; similar to 'work' but without free coffee

Sausage--similar to the American hotdog, but with the bun inside the casing

Tomato sauce--ketchup

Ketchup--catsup

Tomato puree--tomato sauce

Bolognaise--spaghetti sauce

Tahmahto--tomato

Pahtahto--similar to Boston's podada

Boston buns--unlike anything you will find in Boston